Handling Aggression Through Positive Communication Essay

Five  year-old James is very busy working at the art easel on a special picture for his Mothers birthday. Jenny has been waiting her turn at the art easel. When she becomes frustrated because James is not leaving the easel, she grabs his painting from the easel and tears it apart. James screams for the teacher then pushes Jenny to the floor and yells at her. The teacher then should intervene and confront Jenny about her inability to control herself. The teacher should say â€Å"Jenny, I did not like you pushing James like that. That’s wrong!† When aggressive behavior is exhibited by children, teachers should keep in mind that it is children’s behavior that should be confronted, not the children themselves. Teachers should have a calm body language and should show serious, but not glowering, facial expressions. Through this demeanor, teachers communicate their feelings about a behavior while avoiding attacks on the children’s characters. The teacher should explain to Jenny that if she did not like waiting for James to finish, she should have told him to hurry up because she is waiting for her turn. The teacher should also talk to James about sharing and being sensitive of other children when using communal things in the classroom. The teacher should then ask Jenny and James about what they should say to each other. By letting children realize their mistakes and letting them resolve their own conflicts, children learn to be self-reliant when teachers help them to solve their own problems. As teachers, we should learn that aggression in children is not an emotion but rather the expression of one. It is the action an individual commonly takes as a result of anger or frustration. Young children who have not learned to control their anger often resort to aggressive behavior. Children who have been neglected or treated harshly sometimes use aggression to strike out at the world around them. Other children with highly permissive parents may have learned certain aggressive acts to get their own way—hitting and name-calling, for instance. In controlling aggressive behavior in children, Haim Ginott’s (1972) humanistic model of behavior management can be helpful because it represents a low-control perspective of behavior management in which teachers respect, protect, and promote young children’s emerging self-concept. It is believed that low teacher control models emphasize the role of teacher as a communicator and supporter of children’s natural strengths. Rather than taking the lead, teachers follow the lead of children. Teachers who follow this perspective serve as reflective mirrors of children’s feelings and behaviors, listening to children’s concerns, inquiring as to their interests, and reflecting back the feelings that children express. In this sense, Ginott’s behavior management practices represent the most pure form of a child-centered classroom. The importance of supportive teacher-child interactions is reflected in Ginott’s â€Å"cardinal principle†: At their best, teachers address themselves to the child’s situation. At their worst, they judge his character and personality. This, in essence, is the difference between effective and ineffective communication (Ginott 1972, p. 70). In above statement, Ginott is advising teachers to address themselves to children’s behavior while protecting children’s self-worth. Ginott’s focus on communication is of particular importance in that it reflects his belief in the need to guide children’s exploration and expression of self through dialogue: â€Å"Emotional education† is thus achieved when teachers communicate their unwavering support and acceptance of children, while at the same time helping children to understand their own feelings. Although it is not easy to adapt Ginott’s communication practices, it is one a model that adheres to positive communication in children. However, some teachers may feel that they lack the time and energy to become skilled in the use in Ginott’s model. It may help you to know that, as students, we too felt uncomfortable at first when implementing Ginott’s practices. However, it is assured that with a little practice, these communication techniques will quickly become a valued part of your behavior management plan. Just remember that â€Å"practice makes perfect† and that the long-term goal of preparing children for life in a democratic society is not an easy task. It requires time and energy. And as teachers, it is our role to guide them to learn how to control their actions and help them verbalize what they feel to avoid aggression. References Ginott, H. (1972). Teacher and Child: A Book for Parents and Teachers. New York: Avon